once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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