My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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