Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My bed smells like the plague
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
God, I missed his penis.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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