so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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