I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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