I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
