Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
