Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
