I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
