Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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