if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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