sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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