I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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