Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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