I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
