I wanna passion pit in your ass
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
ok first of all what the fuck
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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