Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
