hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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