I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
