I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
