so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
