so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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