If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
