there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
