You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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