I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
