im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
