Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
