these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
