Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
