Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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