I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
