Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
