ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
