The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
