best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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