The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
