It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
