Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
