I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
