She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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