I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
