One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
