well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
