I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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