What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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