I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
