I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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