If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
