Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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